Lisa Vohra v.10.1.165

The reason I'm starting this website is because it's the easiest place for me to store the most glitch-free version of myself.  Right now we're on version 10.1.165. But if you ever meet me at a party, alcohol might slow down to version v5.4.337. So in case that happens, I can just tell people to go to my website if they want to know the most up to date version of me and then go back to my drinking. So really, I'm just starting this website so I can have more to drink and not deal with people. 

I should get some tips on how to write a good 'about me' section. According to "experts" who write lists on buzzfeed or wherever, I'm supposed to use a jaw dropping font. Something so amazing, it will make the reader forget that the actual content sucks. So I picked something cheesy. Just to be defiant.

Here's a quick trailer of who I am. 

I'm a television producer who used to be addicted to facebook status updates, over 10 years ago (but the story must be shared).  I  kicked the habit when I missed the metro and had a panic attack when my phone stopped working. It was actually ridiculous. Every second I'd be like...gotta write this, gotta write that. I just missed the train, the world must know!  But then I had a bet with a friend to stop for a month. $100 and totally worth it (I got my my doggy the exclusive spa package at Petco that month). That was over 10 years ago. Now I just get on facebook and laugh at the 94. 7% of friends who suddenly think that having a facebook account means they are now a social commentator.

Back to me. I have a six-year old daughter, Alyssa. She’s the funniest little thing. And yes, all of kids are funny so there's really nothing that makes us different, but she really is that one child God picked to be the funniest. And while we're on the subject, everything she does from here on out is going to be pure genius. Our doggy of 15 years, Butters passed away a few months ago. It’s still a little hard for me to write an ‘about me’ without giving her an honorable mention. I have a separate website dedicated to her memory, so when you get a chance check it out www.buttersandlisa.com. 

Finally, we get to my wonderful husband. I always thought Nutella was the best thing that ever followed me from Germany in 1988...but apparently it was my charm that eventually attracted Sameer to me. :) He's truly my muse. He's a patent attorney but in his spare time he likes to write stories (also posted here). Most are about a fictional, slightly exaggerated version of me. He says it's not exaggerated at all. I stand by slightly exaggerated. 

If you want to know our story, here's a link to our wedding website: www.sameerandlisa.wedsite.com. Please don't ever confuse us with another Sameer and Lisa that's taken over first spot in a google search. They like tacky wedding videos pretending they are the next big Bollywood couple. Yes, people in general annoy me, but my husband says that if they didn't do that, I wouldn't have any material. He's right. I thrive on inconsistent human behavior. You'll see it in my writings and videos. 

Which brings me to "Comosophy." Combining comedy and philosophy, it means, "An amusing way to look at mannerisms of society while searching for wisdom." I've spent years researching mannerisms of society, why people do what they do. Using variables, hypothesis, in depth research methods, salt, the quadratic equation.....and what did I come up with?

That further research is necessary. 

But lucky for me America loves research. And I'm only halfway through my life  (hopefully), so I have plenty of time to find the answer. Until then....enjoy my successes and failures as you see my "wisdom" unfolding.